Gatoverse

Mini observation

2009-09-02T17:59:14Z

"How can we further cement the opinions of Butler students that the police in this city are douches?"
"I know! Let's ride a bunch of horses down Sunset and cause traffic problems."
I'm sure there was a good reason. Maybe the horses needed exercise or training or something. And I'm sure that only a small percentage of police officers in Indianapolis are douches. For the most part they are wonderful people. But seriously. First segways and now horses? They should be on roller blades next. Or ice skates in the winter. The sidewalks don't get salted so I'm sure it wouldn't be a problem. Ok enough negative energy.

Yay for not studying

2008-12-11T05:53:41Z

Stole this from Bambi. Looked like much fun.

Rules :Turn on Google; look for the following expressions. Use your real name. Use the first thing that appears...

Well, this will be interesting.

Put "[your name] needs" on Google
Kathy needs to give herself some credit.

Put "[your name] looks like" on Google
Kathy looks like a rich suburban transvestite. Haha

Put "[your name] says" on Google
Kathy says: "zest those lemons"

Put "[your name] wants" on Google
Kathy wants you to YouTube, and no regrets (or sex) for Jordin Sparks

Put "[your name] does" on Google
Kathy does play therapy work.

Put "[your name] hates" on Google
Kathy hate me...more than Chloe the evil dog?

Put "[your name] asks" on Google
Kathy asks if she can hold Deeze nuts. haha

Put "[your name] becomes" on Google
Kathy becomes a girl...

Put "[your name] likes" on Google
Kathy likes pink.

Put "[your name] eats" on Google
Kathy eats dog s***. It was the first one that wasn't just "it". :(

Put "[your name] wears" on Google
Kathy wears me out!

Put "[your name] was arrested for" on Google
Kathy was arrested for drunk and disorderly conduct.

Glorious

2008-11-07T03:30:22Z

This is even better than the first one.

Also, Jacen showed me this. It is amazing.

Completely glorious.

Good feelings gone.

2008-11-05T06:07:25Z

So, I wasn't going to vote today. Honestly, I didn't much care for either candidate. Then I felt bad, so I decided to at least write someone in and make a statement. So yay, I joined the masses that wrote Ron Paul in on the ballot. And no, it's not because of other people's influence. I came to love Ron Paul on my own without much help from ex boyfriends. I really wish he had made it. Or Huckabee. I would have had no trouble with either of them. Or if Hillary had beaten Obama. I didn't think I cared who won tonight. But now...for some reason, I have this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. Jacen says, "welcome to socialism." I don't know if I think it will be that extreme, but I think of all the people I know that live off of the government. All of my family members that sit around and moan and complain but don't do anything about their situation, and they all were rooting for Obama (of course, they didn't vote. That would require leaving the house for a reason other than going to the dollar store). So I don't know how I feel about all of this. I just know that I'm getting really bad vibes. I really hope Obama isn't the Antichrist.

Oh, and according to the Facebook group I just joined, Obama is really the third black president. David Palmer was the classic, and his brother Wayne came in second. David is still my president.

Can't sleep

2008-09-06T05:08:42Z

So I'm going to do one of these survey things. I haven't done this one in two years, so I'm interested in what the answers will be now.

01. When's the last time you ran?
I did the equivalent of running 2.5 miles in my aerobics class yesterday.

002. Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them?
My favorite pair has a hole in the inner thigh, and I am very sad about it.

003. What are you dreading right now?:
Work tomorrow.

004. Do you celebrate 4/20?:
Um, no.

005. Favorite country singer?:
Hate country with all the fires of hell, but if I were forced to listen I'd say Carrie Underwood.

006. What face cleanser do you use?:
Proactive is all that works for me.

007. When was your last doctors visit?:
About a year ago.

008. Do you get the full 8 hours of sleep?:
Almost never. Sometimes it's 5 hours, sometimes it's 12. Never 8.

009. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?:
45 minutes if I'm really on crunch time.

010. "First Loves Are Never Over" is this true for you?:
Sometimes. Depends what kind of mood I'm in.

011. Think of all your exes. Would you take any of them back?
If certain situations were different, definitely.

012. If anyone came to your house on your "lazy days" what would they find you wearing?
I don't really have lazy days anymore.

013. Does your school have tornado drills?:
I'm assuming they do.

014. Have you ever been on your schools track team?:
that is funny

015. Do you own a pair of Converse?:
i stole my mom's once for several years.

016. Who did you cut and paste this survey from?:
Bambi's friend page originally, myself this time.

017. Do you eat raw cookie dough?:
Haven't in a while, which is probably why I've been kind of depressed lately.

018. Have you ever kicked a vending machine?:
No. I have cursed at one, though.

019. Don't you hate when the radio ruins good songs by overplaying them?:
The Christian radio station doesn't really have that problem...or maybe I just don't get sick of Christian songs as easily.

020. Would you rather they play the whole video or just a clip of it on TRL?:
Is TRL even on anymore?

021. Do you watch Trading Spaces?:
Not really

022. How do you eat Oreos?:
um, i put them in my mouth and chew them.

023. Have you ever stayed online for a very long time waiting for someone to sign in?:
I never had to wait very long.

024. Are you cocky?:
I didn't used to be, but I think since my self-esteem risen a little it comes with the territory.

025. Shortest relationship?:
a couple of weeks

026. Longest?:
2 years, 3 months and 16 days.

027. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have told you they love you?:
2

028. Did you say it back to all of them?
Yes

029. Did you mean it?:
with one (the other is strictly as a brother. Well, not when we were dating, b/c that would have been weird)

030. Could you live without a computer?:
No

031. Do you wear shoes in your house?:
Slippers

032. When you watch movies at home, do you turn the lights off?:
No, I don't really like to turn the lights off for some reason.

033. At what age did you find out that Santa wasn't real?
prolly like, 7 or so

034. How many phones, house phones and cell phones are in your house?:
two cells, and technically a land phone that remains unplugged.

035. What do you do when you're sad?:
Cry. A lot. Then eat my feelings.

036. Who would you call first if you won the lottery?
Probably my dad.

037. Last time you saw your best friend?:
Depends. Most of them I saw Wednesday. One of them I haven't seen in several days.

038. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I wish it was easier for me to let people know how I feel when I'm upset or pissed.

039. Last movie you rented?:
I Am Legend. Made me cry real bad. If you've seen it, you know why.

040. What sleeps with you every night?:
my kitties. Chloe usually sleeps with me more than Zorro.

041. How many times have you been pulled over?:
None so far.

042. Pancakes or French toast?:
French toast.

043. How do you like your eggs?:
over easy

044. Are you in high school?:
No, praise God

045. Is anyone on your bad side right now?:
No.

046. What jewelry are you wearing?:
none

047. What's the first thing you do when you get online?:
check my email

048. Do you own any TV seasons on DVD?:
First four seasons of Aqua Teen Hunger Force, first season of 24, first season of The Tudors, the whole Firefly series (which was only one season), and the sixth and seventh seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

049. Do you watch Grey's Anatomy?:
No, but I do watch Scrubs. Aren't they like the same thing? ;)

050. How do most people spell your name?
Sometimes they spell it with a C instead of a K, or they think my name is Katie

051. Do you wear your boy/girlfriends clothes?:
I wear my ex-boyfriend's pajama pants frequently. But that's because he never really wore them anyway.

052. Do you watch pro sports on TV?:
Sometimes Pacer games to see my brother

053. What do you do before you sleep every night?:
I try to read my Bible, and then I watch adult swim

054. What was the first movie that gave you nightmares?
Friday the 13th, which is funny because I never actually saw it. Now I have zombie nightmares a lot.

055. Who's your favorite celebrity couple?:
Don't really care

056. Favorite 80's teen movie?
Lost Boys, or is Labyrinth considered a teen movie?

057. Is Justin Timberlake becoming the next Michael Jackson or Elton John?
JT is hot.

058. Do you know anyone who wasn't born in the United States?:
Probably, though I can't think of any now

059. Favorite name for a boy?
Xander

060. Will you keep your last name when you get married?
No

061. Your favorite restaurant you don't get to eat at much?:
Naked Chopstix

062. When is the last time you left your house?:
Yesterday to go to class.

063. Do you buy your own school supplies?:
Not really.

064. Do you already have your school supplies?:
Yes.

065. Have you ever cursed at a teacher?:
I don't think I ever have AT a teacher.

066. How do you eat your steak?:
medium with A-1 sauce

067. Who is your favorite rapper?:
Christian: I like Nue Breed, Secular: I hate to say it, but Ludacris (he's hilarious)

068. How do you get to school?:
Drive; wish I lived on campus

069. If you heard your phone ringing right now, who do you expect it to be?
I don't know who would call me this late

070. What noise do you hear?
both tvs are going right now.

071. Would you survive in prison?
no

072. Next concert you hope to go to?:
not really a concert, but i want to see The Lion King for Christmas

073. What was the last thing you ate?:
Pringles

074. When was the last time you said I love you, and meant it?:
prolly whenever I was on the phone with a family member last, or in a text message to jacen encouraging him not to lose his self-esteem

076. If all of your friends were going on a road trip, who would most likely over pack the most?
probably mary

077. Do you know anyone with the same name as you?:
no

078. How many syllables does your name have?:
2

079. What does your license plates say?:
it has a bunch of numbers on it

080. When is the last time you ate peanut butter?:
i think a couple of weeks ago

081. What brand is your cell phone?:
LG, or Lame Gay, as my dear friend Benny would say

082. What's for dinner?:
tomorrow, hopefully sushi

083. What's the last thing you purchased?:
a coke from the vending machine

084. Do your siblings ever pay for stuff for you?:
i usually pay for stuff for my siblings

086. Is your phone on vibrate or ring most?:
vibrate

087. What brand is your shirt right now?:
it's a UE Gives Back shirt

088. Ever been to Georgia?:
no

089. Did you have breakfast this morning?:
no

090. Do you like marshmallows?
yes

091. What irritates you on the internet?:
being on myspace

092. What brand is your digital camera?
Canon

093. Do you watch movies with your parents?:
Sometimes

094. Do you wear short shorts?:
God no

095. Do you think you could be pregnant?:
If God said, "Just kidding Mary, you aren't the only virgin mother."

096. What song describes your love life at the moment?:
what love life?

097. Do you own expensive cologne/perfume?
I use Victoria's Secret body spray, which I guess some people consider to be expensive

098. On average, how much do your jeans cost?:
probably like 30

099. Are you taking college classes?
yes

100. Do your parents know you cuss?:
i only swear occasionally, but yes, they know

101. Do they care?:
it's not often or severe enough for them to care

102. Did you see Harold and Kumar go to White Castle?:
Yes, and I'm sad to say that it is an absolutely glorious movie.

103. Have you ever been to White Castle?:
Yes, and I've learned to like it a little

104. Would you rather sleep alone or with someone?:
of course it depends on who I'm sleeping with, but definitely with someone

105. Do you like the Phillies?:
don't care

106. Do you like sushi?:
Sushi is my life.

107. Do you get your hair cut every month?:
more like every 6 to 8 weeks; once I went over a year

108. Have you ever made out in front of your parents?
never really did it that much in the first place, let alone in front of the parents

109. Do you go online everyday?:
yes

110. Last Question. Do you read everyone's bulletins?:
I Facebook stalk.

kath87 @ 2008-03-15T03:03:00

2008-03-15T07:07:30Z

I feel like I'm dying. Tonight I had the hardest conversation I've ever had to have in my life. I want to just stop life for like five days. But it's not going to stop for me. I'm so glad we're still friends. Still, I kinda wish he had put up a fight.
I'm kind of hating life right now. Maybe I'll talk more later.

Fun

2007-09-28T02:59:59Z

1. How was your day?
Long, but alright.

2. What is your favorite color?
Blue or pink.

3. Favorite person in the world?
Mi novio, Jacen.

4. Do you miss anyone?
Lots. My dad, my sisters, everyone in E'ville, and right now, Jacen.

5. What do you drive?
Nissan Sentra.

6. Are you in high school?
No, praise God.

7. Do you work?
Sort of.

8. What do you want out of life?
Love, purpose, joy, and peace.

9. Ever hated a friend's boyfriend?
I sure have.

10. What do you like to do on the weekends?
Hang out with Jacen, go to Mom's, sleep.

11. Do you collect anything?
Disney stuff, but I mostly specialize in Stitch.

12. What are some hobbies of yours?
Reading, Facebook stalking, journaling, hanging out with the boy.

13. Are you happy?
Right this minute, yes. Ultimately, not really, but things are slowly looking up.

14. Do you have a bf/gf?
Heck yes I do.

15. If no, does that bug you?
Um, see above.

16. Describe your personality.
Dry, sarcastic, amazing.

17. Do you get along with your family?
Yes.

18. Where do you want to go?
Disney World and Spain.

19. If you could do/have anything what would it be?
My bf would know the Lord.

20. What is your mood?
Kinda floaty.

21. What are you doing tomorrow?
Lots of catching up on studying, cleaning, and sleeping.

22. Do you have any pets?
Two kitties, Chloe and Zorro. They're bad, but I love them.

23. Do you have a best friend?
I have a couple of friends I consider close. Then Jacen's a given.

24. Where did you meet?
Jacen: Waldenbooks. He was like my boss. :)
Mary: The Roller Cave. She wanted to meet me because she thought I looked like Taylor Hanson. :(
Kimmy: Camp. We both loved Spike. Those were the days.
Tasha: Babysitter.
Lauren: Social Studies in 6th grade. Been my favorite black person ever since.
There are many more people that I love.

25. Name one goal:
Decide what I want to do with my life as soon as possible.

------------------------------------------------------------

1. Who was your first prom date
Che!

2. Do you still talk to your first love?
No, but I do Facebook stalk him occasionally (but I Facebook stalk everyone)

3. What was your first alcoholic drink?
Pineapple Malibu

4. What was your first job?
Waldenbooks. I loved it.

5. what was your first car?
The one I have now.

6. Who was the first person you texted today?
Jacen.

7. Who is the first person you thought of this morning?
Jacen.

8. Who was your first grade teacher?
I want to say Miss McKinney...

9. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane?
Disney World

10. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with?
I've never had to sneak out of the house.

11. Who was your FIRST best friend and are you still friends with them?
Jordan Drabing. We kind of lost touch.

12. Where was your first sleep over?
Don't remember. Probably at Tori's.

13. Who was the first person you talked to this morning?
Um, probably Jimmy.

14. Whose wedding were you in the first time?
Haven't been yet.

15. What is the first thing you do in the morning?
Go back to sleep for like, twenty minutes.

16. What was the first concert you ever went to?
N'sync

17. First tattoo or piercing?
Ears pierced

18. First foreign country you went to?
Mexico

19. First crush?
Ryan I can't remember his last name.

20. When was your first detention?
Never

21. What was the first state you lived in?
Um, this one.

22. Who was the first person to break your heart?
It was never intentional since he didn't know my feelings. I won't say his real name. Let's just call him George. The people that matter will know who I'm talking about. ;)

23. Who was your first roomie
Kristen

24. Who will be the first to repost this?
I don't know

---------------------------------------------------------

The Girls Only Survey.

1.Do you forget to take off your makeup when you go to sleep?
Nope.

2. Have you kissed any one on your top?
Um, what?

3. Are you happy with your looks?
Yes.

4. Do you enjoy drama?
Not when it involves me.

5. Are you a girly girl?
Very much so.

7. Do you hate cramps?
Yes.

8. Are you short?
According to some.

9. Do you like someone right now?
I love someone right now.

10. What would you do if someone smacked your butt?
Unless I don't know them usually I just say thank you.

11. Has anyone touched/smacked your butt in the past 24 hours?
No. Past 48 hours. But it's still sore anyway.

12. Do you think you're conceited?
No.

12. Are you a brat?
Yes.

13. Have you ever got in a fight?
No.

14. Who would you like to hit right now?
No one.

15. Which class is most boring in school?
Psychology 101, because I've pretty much already taken it.

16. What classes do you love the most?
I don't love any of my classes. I tolerate them.

17. Is there any type of rumor going around about you.
No one knows me.

18. Do you call anybody by their last name?
Butz.

19. Would you kiss on the first date?
I did...

20. What about going farther than a kiss?
No.

21.What jewelry did you wear today?
None.

22. Do you have a lot of candles in your room?
No.

23. Jennifer or Angelina?
Jennifer

24.Do you own Chanel sunglasses?
No.

25. When was the last time you wore a dress?
I don't remember.

26. Straight hair or curly hair?
Straight

27 Diet or exercise?
exercise

29. Do you go tanning in a bed?
I have.

30. Did you ever own a Spice Girls cd?
Heck yes I did.

31. Did you ever take dance, gymnastics, or cheerleading?
Ballet for like three weeks.

33. Do you like bubble baths?
Love them.

34. Do you make wishes when it's 11:11?
Um, no.

35. Do you prefer football players or baseball players?
Rugby players.

Happy Birthday

2007-09-27T01:41:55Z

Wow, I'm 20. I feel like I should be so much older than that. Or at least one year older. It's not that I'm ready to go drinking, but I would like to be able to do more things. It would open up so much more opportunities for dates. And I could hang out with Jacen's friends.
My birthday was quiet, but nice. I skipped my first class, almost failed an exam in my next class, worked for three hours, and went home. Jacen made me a cake and we spent the afternoon and evening laying around watching tv and cuddling. Best present ever.
I love all my friends that said happy birthday on Facebook. It's kind of sad that no one called me or anything, but whatever. My mom didn't even call. No one did, actually. Not even my grandparents, which is weird. Well, they did drop off my present this morning. I wasn't here, but Jacen was. Maybe that's why they haven't called. They didn't know I had given him a garage door opener, and they probably don't approve. They'll get over it.
Tomorrow is a busy day, and I need to get a lot of sleep tonight. Later.

Pills make the phone calls go away

2007-09-24T03:20:35Z

My life is weird. On the one hand, my life is passing by in a crazy, stressful blur and I can't do anything to stop it. On the other hand, I also feel like my life is kind of stale and not going anywhere. Does that make any sense?
I've started going to church again. Sort of. I went this past Wednesday. I'm not going this week because it's my birthday and I want to spend it with Jacen. But after that I want to start going regularly again.
My dad left. I hate it. I miss him a lot more than I thought I would. I hate being in this house by myself. I'm so freaking lonely. Sometimes I really wished that Jacen and I just lived together. I know I've kind of become too dependent on him. It makes me feel pathetic. I think I'll get over it. Right now things are just really hard. I never wanted to live by myself. I had planned on living at home (in the sense that my parents are there) until I got married. I know I've got it really good. I live in this big nice house all by myself and I don't have to pay for it. But what's the point in having a big house to yourself if you can't enjoy it? It's not like I'm going to have big parties or anything because I don't really have any friends and the few friends I do have are either wrapped up in their own lives or boyfriends or they just don't want to drive all the way out here. It kind of sucks. I'm not totally alone. Jacen's mom had to get rid of her cats so I took them. I absolutely love them to death. If it weren't for these cats I would probably freak out. Even with them here though it still really sucks. Being lonely is like the worst feeling in the world.
So what else has happened in my life? I went to the dentist twice. Once for a cleaning that was six months overdue. Then again to have three cavities filled. I'm like a laughing gas veteran by now. I don't know why I get so many cavities. Sure I drink a lot of Coke, but lots of people consume a lot of sugar. And I brush my teeth a lot. Hmm. I had to get a full x-ray for the first time because apparently I'm an adult now. And they suggested that I get my wisdom teeth out during winter break. I hate going to the dentist. It's too bad my dentist is really nice.
So um, I really hate school. I wish I didn't. I feel like a huge ass for transferring now. I guess it doesn't matter because with dad moving I may not have been able to go back to UE anyway so at least I left on my own terms. But it still sucks. I haven't made any friends. No one is very nice. At UE strangers would like, smile and say hi to you. Here no one gives you a second glance. Sure, I've met a couple of people in my classes that are cool, but it's not like we hang out. And living off campus makes it really hard to connect. Butler just isn't very nice to transfer students or commuter students. Or people who are undeclared. And I'm all of those things. I changed my major again because I just don't know what I want to do with my life. And unless it turns out to be business, pharmacy, or dance, I'm wondering if there's any point at staying here. I'm seriously considering just going to IUPUI. I'd feel like such a goon transferring again. And with this whole depression thing I've got going on, I don't know if I'll really be happy anywhere. I may be just as miserable at IUPUI. But at least I'd be saving money. And there's a lot more to choose from there. And I feel like people would be more understanding because there's a lot more people who transfer to IUPUI, and commute to IUPUI. I don't know. I don't know what I'm going to do.
I know this has been a huge bitch fest. I'm sorry. I'm just in a really bad mood. I'm lonely, and upset because I get to see my boyfriend like three hours at a time maybe three times a week. And I don't know what I want to do with my life. And I'm incredibly stressed because of class, and studying, and group projects that Butler professors like to make students do outside of class, and maintaining a huge house by myself, and lots of other fun stuff.
I wish I could just, quit life, for like five minutes.

I have a situation I need to walk off

2007-08-27T03:29:19Z

This was a pretty good weekend as far as weekends go for me. I did absolutely nothing yesterday, and it was great. Jacen and I went to Applebees. They brought back the chimicheesecake. Sigh. Jacen is trying to teach me how to be mean. It's not really working. I'm afraid I don't have a dark spot in my soul.
Today I went to dinner with my family and Jacen. We went to Hollyhock Hill. They have good food. They have good ice cream too. And I almost ate everything on my plate. I can't help it if I eat like a bird.
I just spent like an hour on the phone with one of my friends. I'm so glad she's not mad at me. I was afraid she might have been. I really can't wait for the day when I'm not scared to drive anywhere that's not school. There are a lot of things I need to take care of.
I have class in the morning. This going to bed early sucks. I'm not a morning person. Definitely glad I'll be scheduling my own classes next semester.

Day Two

2007-08-22T03:06:44Z

I know I'm posting a lot. The last few days have been different and really hectic, and I need to get it all out of my system. It's probably going to be like this for the next few days as well.
So, today was another long day, even though I didn't have to be at school until 2:30. I had an appointment with my new adviser. I completely changed my major. Again. For now. She saw that my entire semester was business and that was scary, so I dropped a couple of classes and replaced them with stuff that I will actually find interesting. Now I'm an exploratory studies major, which means I can work at Starbucks. But I'm probably going to change it to psychology, and minor in business, and probably do something else. I don't know what, though. Now I have to return some books and get some new ones. Hopefully I'll save some money. Today when I picked up my books (which were severely heavy) I had to carry them to my car, which was a pretty long trek. I was sweaty and gross, and barely able to keep a hold of the box. I had to pass a few people on the sidewalk that didn't bother to move and give me any room. And after I had passed them, they all started laughing. I almost cried. I've cried a few times the past couple of days. Not that I want to go back to UE, but I can't help making comparisons, and so far, the students at Butler are not nearly as friendly (with exceptions). At UE you can pass people you don't know and they'll smile and say hi. A lot of the people I've come across at Butler don't seem to be very friendly. But it's only the second day. And I've really only made a few friends. I don't know.
I really miss my boyfriend. Yeah he spent the night Sunday, and I got to spend a lot of time with him then. But I only got to see him for like an hour tonight, and I won't get to see him again until Saturday. I'm used to only seeing him twice a week, but it doesn't mean I like it. Especially this week when I know I'll want to cuddle more than usual. I really miss him when I don't get to see him. I know it's not his fault, but still. I hope he misses me as much as I miss him.
Well it's after 11. I need to get up around 7:30. I'll probably write more tomorrow.

Welcome to Butler

2007-08-21T03:32:38Z

Today was incredibly long. I could barely sleep last night, first because of the massive storm, second because of a huge bout of anxiety. I claimed I didn't know the cause of it, but I just didn't want to admit to Jacen (or myself) that I was freaking terrified of beginning this week. I'm pathetic, I know. So I woke up at around 5:30 this morning. Spent about 40 minutes trying to get Jacen to get up. He's like a child in the morning, I swear. But it's really cute. So we went to Enterprise so he could get a rental car. Then I went home for a little bit before I had to head over to Butler for the transfer student orientation. Most of it was kind of pointless. I liked meeting the other students. More Facebook friends and hopefully a familiar face or two in my classes. It was nice. And some of the information was very helpful. But then most of it was pretty much lecturing on life lessons such as being responsible adults and registering on time and academic integrity. I pretty much already knew that cheating is bad. I was there until 3:30. When I had to leave it was pouring down rain. I'd never actually driven in the rain before. Especially not when it's storming. And I don't like the roads on that side of town. They're all so narrow and curvy. So it was a new and frightening experience for me. I came home and took a long nap and I still feel a little sick. I'm pretty sure it's just nerves. Sometimes I feel so pathetic because of my driving anxiety. But when I'm actually driving it's really not that bad. And I am a good driver on the interstate. I actually prefer the interstate. And I know I'm weird, but I don't mind rush hour. I think it's because I don't have to go as fast. :) My brother Rick said that since I just got my license it's like I'm only 16 in that respect, but I'm putting too much pressure on myself by trying to act like I've been driving for the last three years. That made me feel a little better. Still, even if I accept that I haven't been driving for the past three years, everybody else expects me to be as comfortable with it as they are. At least that is how it feels to me. Plus there are 16 year olds that are more comfortable with it than me. So that kind of makes me feel like a goon. On the bright side, now that I'm going to have to drive every day maybe I'll finally start to become more comfortable with it.
I'm so tired, and I haven't even had a class yet.

I'm a bad risk, and I don't pay my bills on time

2007-08-19T05:16:02Z

So I just bought my textbooks online. At UE, I managed to buy all my books for less than $500 each semester. Granted, the books for World Cultures weren't expensive, and I could get a lot of books used, while pretty much all the books for Butler I had to get new. Still...the total came to be $762. That makes me incredibly nervous. Also, they sent me this thing in the mail that would let me get a limited meal plan so I could eat lunch at school and have flex dollars to get stuff at the convenience store and Starbucks and whatever. That would be nice; I would probably end up spending less at McDonald's. But that meal plan is like, $700. When I decided to transfer, I knew I wouldn't be saving money, because after all is said and done, Butler is like, $10,000 more expensive than UE. So even with living at home, I'm pretty much breaking even. But now it feels like it's going to be even more costly. Maybe I should have gone to IUPUI or something. Especially when I'm not sure what I'm doing with my life. I'm not going to say I should have stayed in Evansville, but pretty much half of my pledge class transferred or is planning to transfer, and the people that I hung out with most are seniors, so they won't be there after next year. Not to mention the meal difficulties with them building a new student center. I know it would be more difficult down there now. Still...I hope B&N calls me soon, because I want money.
On the bright side, we got new printer. Well, we sort of did. The goons at Comp USA told us it was the same as the printer we had looked at but when we got it home we saw that it used different ink cartridges. And it looks so much more confusing. I told Dad that Comp USA is useless, but he never listens to me. :( But the one that we're supposed to get prints out pictures. So that means I don't have to ask for that for my birthday. So yay, I get to be a little less of a financial burden.
Sometimes I'm kinda glad that I probably won't get to have children.

Bored...Yay Friday night

2007-08-18T03:57:27Z

TAKE THIS SURVEY!

Take this survey

200: My middle name is: Stephanie Gayle
199: I was born in: Indianapolis
198: I am really: frustrated
197: My cell phone company is: Verizon
196: My eye color is: blue
195: My shoe size is: 8
194: My ring size is: I don't know because I don't have any rings. :(
193: My height is: 5'3
192: I am allergic to: life
191: My 1st car was: '06 Nissan Sentra
190: My 1st job was: Waldenbooks
189: Last book you read: The Hiding Place (fabulous)
188: My bed is: comfy but lonely
187: My pet: does not exist
186: My best friend(s): what best friend?
185: My favorite shampoo is: So Sexy
184: AIM name: kathyjohns24
183: Piggy Banks are: breakable, like your face
182: In my pockets: nothing
181: On my calendar: classes start next Wednesday. :(
180: Marriage is: an extremely distant dream
179: Sponge Bob can: brighten my day
178: My mom: is frustrating
177: The last three cd's I bought were: that was a long time ago
176: Last YouTube video watched: the Gay Harry Potter video
175: How many cousins do you have? one that I know of
174: Do you have any siblings: 2 half brothers, 2 stepbrothers
173: Are your parents divorced: yep
172: Are you taller than your mom? I don't know
171: Do you play an instrument? sort of
170: What did you do yesterday: watched the Aqua Teen movie with Jacen

I Believe In:

169: Love at first sight: I guess anything is possible
168: Luck: luck...or the Holy Ghost, either way
167: Fate: sure
166: Yourself: I try to
165: Aliens: no
164: Heaven: yes
163: Hell: yes
162: God: I love Jesus
161: Horoscopes: not really
160: Soul mates: I don't know anymore
159: Ghosts: maybe
158: Gay Marriage: whatever floats your boat
157: War: I don't know
156: Orbs: um...no?
155: Magic: some types of "magic" I guess

Which is Better

154: Hugs or Kisses: kisses
153: Drunk or High: neither
152: Phone or Online: phone
151: Red heads or Black haired: both are cool
150: Blondes or Brunettes: Brunettes
149: Hot or cold: hot
148: Summer or winter: summer
147: Autumn or Spring: autumn
146: Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate
145: Night or Day: night
144: Oranges or Apples: both
143: Curly or Straight hair: i kind of like curly
142: McDonalds or Burger King: McD's
141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: milk chocolate
140: Mac or PC: PC
139: Flip flops or high heals: flops
138: Ugly and rich OR Sexy and poor: definitely sexy and poor
137: Coke or Pepsi: COKE
136: Hillary or Obama: is it okay to say neither?
135: Burried or cremated: don't care
134: Singing or Dancing: both
133: Coach or Chanel: um, Coach I guess
132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: I don't know
131: Small town or Big city: suburb
130: Wal-Mart or Target: Target although Wal-Mart sometimes can be a necessary evil
129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Adam Sandler
128: Manicure or Pedicure: Pedicure
127: East Coast or West Coast: both
126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas
125: Chocolate or Flowers: both
124: Disney or Six Flags: Disney
123: Yankees or Red Sox: Red Sox

Here's What I Think About

122: War: Self defense is justified...but how do you define self defense?
121: George Bush: He needs to go home
120: Gay Marriage: it's not my business
119: The presidential election: is over a year from now
118: Abortion: no personally for it, but again, it's not my business what other people do
117: MySpace: Facebook kicked MySpace's ass even before all of the applications.
116: Reality TV: VH1 shows are like a train wreck. You don't want to look but you can't stop.
115: Parents: I'm sure real ones are great.
114: Back stabbers: bad?
113: Ebay: cool.
112: Sex: wouldn't know. :(
111: Work: depends where you're working
110: My Neighbors: all old and have old dogs
109: Gas Prices: suck
108: Designer Clothes: eh.
107: College: don't have much of a choice, do I?
106: Sports: players make millions while people who are actually important to society (like teachers) get screwed. That makes sense.
105: My family: whatever
104: The future: I hope is better than the past or present.

Last time I

103: Hugged someone: yesterday
102: Last time you ate: early this afternoon
101: Saw someone I haven't seen in a while: yesterday
100. Cried in front of someone: probably a couple of days ago; I lose track.
99: Went to a movie theater: a couple of weeks ago
98: Took a vacation: don't remember
97: Swam in a pool: last week
96: Changed a diaper: never
95: Got my nails done: never :(
94: Went to a wedding: last August (has it really only been a year?)
93: Broke a bone: never
92: Got a peircing: when i was like, 10
91: Broke the law: um, I guess back in april?
90: Texted: a few hours ago

MISC

89: Who makes you laugh the most: Rick, Zach, Jacen, Mary, Benny...everyone in my life is funny
88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: childhood
87: The last movie I saw: Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters For DVD
86: The thing that I'm looking forward to the most: having a schedule
85: The thing im not looking forward to: classes starting
84: People call me: only if I call them first
83: The most difficult thing to do is: talk to someone without crying
82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: haha...me speed...
81: My zodiac sign is: libra (like I care)
80: The first person i talked to today was: Jacen
79: First time you had a crush: kindergarten?
78: The one person who i can't hide things from: Jacen always knows when I'm lying
77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: I don't know
76: Right now I am talking to: no one
75: What are you going to do when you grow up: counselor, hopefully
74: I have/will get a job: hope to get one at Barnes & Noble
73: Tomorrow: might suck, might not. Who knows?
72: Today: has not been as good as it could have been
71: Next Summer: has got to be better than this one
70: Next Weekend: probably hang out with Brit
69: I have these pets: none
68:The worst sound in the world: those birds that are really loud and don't sound like birds
67: The person that makes me cry the most is: ...
66: People that make you happy: same person, oddly enough
65: Last time I cried: like five minutes ago
64: My friends are: great when I actually see them
63: My computer is: awesome
62: My School: I don't know yet
61: My Car: still intimidates me
60: I lose all respect for people who: don't respect themselves or others
59: The movie I cried at was: Homeward Bound, Passion of the Christ, and The Notebook
58: Your hair color is: poop brown
57: TV shows you watch: Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Family Guy, 24, Clean House, What Not to Wear, Spongebob, Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares, How Clean is Your House?, House Hunters, Project Runway, Scrubs
56: Favorite web site: Facebook, Livejournal, Fanfiction.net
55: Your dream vacation: Disney World
54: The worst pain I was ever in was: when I had a spinal tap
53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium
52: My room is: chaotic
51: My favorite celebrity is: they're all goons
50: Where would you like to be: Heaven or Disney World
49: Do you want children: Wanting and having are two different things
48: Ever been in love: yes
47: Whos your best friend: i don't know
46: More guy friends or girl friends: guy
45: One thing that makes you feel great is: Jesus
44: One person that you wish you could see right now: Jesus
43: Do you have a 5 year plan: Don't die
42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: no
41: Have you pre-named your children: yes :(
40: Last person I got mad at: I can be mad at several people at once
39: I would like to move to: Somewhere that's not Eagle Creek.
38: I wish I was a professional: musician

My Favorites

37: Candy: dove chocolates
36: Vehicle: Honda Odyssey
35: President: Jackson
34: State visited: Florida
33: Cell Phone Provider: Verizon, I guess
32: Athlete: Um, that one Cajun guy that one the horse race
31: Actor: too many
30: Actress: i don't know
29: Singer: Justin Timberlake, Jeremy Camp
28: Band: Skillet, Kutless, David Crowder Band, Third Day
27: Clothing Store: Von Maur
26: Grocery Store: Meijer
25: TV show: Aqua Teen Hunger Force
24: Movie: The Birdcage
23: Website: facebook
22: Animal: hippo
21: Theme Park: Disney World
20: Holiday: Christmas
19: Sport to watch: basketball, baseball
18: Sport to play: tennis
17: Magazine: Newsweek, Entertainment Weekly
16: Book: The Hiding Place, Memoirs of a Geisha
15: Day of the week: Thursday
14: Beach: don't know
13: Concert Attended: N'sync
12: Thing to cook: um, hamburgers
11: Food: steak
10: Restaurant:Olive Garden
9: Radio Station: don't listen to the radio
8: Yankee Candle scent: Midnight Summer's
7: Cologne: um, i like axe deoderant
6: Flower: i like blue flowers
5: Color: pink, blue, black, turquoise, gray
4: Talk Show host: Conan O'Brian
3: Comedian: Dane Cook
2: Dog Breed: English Mastiff
1: Are you ready for this survey to be over? sure

Crap

2007-08-17T03:21:14Z

The boyfriend was real sick today. He caught something from one of the cashiers. I swear, for a health food store, that place has the sickest employees I have ever heard of in my life. Anyway, I spent the day with him, and now I'm starting to feel a little woozy. I'm hoping like crazy that it's just because I didn't eat much today, or I just took a nap I wasn't planning on and now I'm groggy, or I'm still a little messed up from having blood drawn earlier. Getting sick five days before classes start would not be much fun. On the bright side, today I bought Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters (for dvd). It's a pretty glorious movie.

New layouts are fun

2007-08-12T03:18:47Z

So, today was kind of blah. I don't really like weekends. I don't have that much to do during the week, but I seem to have even less to do during the weekend. Jacen doesn't usually have the weekends off, so I don't really have that to look forward to. And Dad usually goes in even though he works 12 hour days during the week. So usually I'm left with nothing to do. Weekends kind of remind me that I have no friends. It's not that I haven't tried. I've called all five people I know (who don't hate me right now) who might be able to do something but no luck. I'm not really surprised; how many times have I complained about not having a close knit group of people to hang out with or anyone that actually calls me first. It's old news. But I still feel lonely. I'm hoping this changes when school starts. It doesn't help that tomorrow was originally going to be a very good day. Oh well. I should have learned by now to not expect things to work out the way I planned. I'm not being depressing. I'm being honest.
On a happier note, Barnes & Noble in Avon is hiring and I got an application. Hopefully that will work out. I kind of feel like I'm being a traitor, but the closest Borders to me is downtown. :(

Bored

2007-08-12T01:29:33Z

I figured I hadn't done one of these in a while. And I pronounce the "h" in "while"


BaSiC InFo
Name:	Kathy
Birthdate:	9/26
Birthplace:	Indpls
Current Location:	My casa
Eye Color:	blue
Hair Color:	brown
Height:	5' cute
Weight:	'round 130
What's Your....
Zodiac Sign:	libra (like it's important)
Ethnicity:	white?
Body Type:	average
Favorite Food:	steak
Favorite Drink:	Coke
Baseball Team:	whoever's good
(when) Bedtime:	never
Favorite Color(s):	blue, pink, black, turqoise and gray (yay, Zeta colors)
Favorite Letter:	Um...F?
Favorite Number:	24!!!!!!!
Candy:	dove chocolate
Favorite Animal:	hippo
Favorite Messenger:	um, aim I guess
Screename:	kathyjohns24
Favorite Store:	khol's
Most Missed Memory:	church camp
Best Physical Feature:	eyes or boobs
Overused Phrase:	"poop mouth," apparently
First Thought Waking Up:	no
Goal for this year:	grow up
Weakness:	jacen, chocolate, Harry Potter
Fears:	zombies, bugs, ghettos, conflict
Heritage:	Irish, English, German, Native American, white trash...
Longest Relationship:	Coming up on 21 months
School's Name:	Butler
Favorite TV Show:	Right now it's between Aqua Teen Hunger Force and Clean House
Have You Ever....
Drank:	yes
Smoked:	no
Dyed Your Hair:	yes
Shoplifted:	no
Tried To Do The Splits:	um...no
Tried To Do A Backbend:	maybe?
Tried To Do A Cartwheel:	yes
Tried To Do A Handstand:	yes
Tried To Act Perfect:	there was a time when I didn't need to act
Get A Detention Of Any Kind From Not Doin Anything:	never had a detention
Skinny Dipped:	not yet
Had Sex:	who knows
Kissed/Huged An Opposite Sex:	all the time
Kissed/Huged The Same Sex As You:	all the time
Been Dumped:	no, I've done the dumping so far
Done Drugs:	no
Had A Boyfriend/Girlfriend:	last time I checked
Ate Sushi:	no, but I would like to try it
Loved Someone:	so much it hurts
In A Guy/Gurl....
Fav Eye Color:	green
Fav Hair Color:	brown
Short or Long Hair:	depends on the guy
Height:	average
Weight:	average
Looks Or Personality:	it doesn't matter when he has both
Love or Money:	love, although money is a nice bonus
Hot Or Cute:	it's possible to be both
Drugs and/or Alcohol:	um, i guess alcohol
Muscular or Really Skinny:	don't care
Sexy or Shmexy----> lmao!:	hahaha...what?
Random...:	smell my hair?
How Do You Want To Die?:	I do NOT want to be eaten by a bear
What country do you want to Visit:	Disney World
Been to the Mall Lately:	yes
Do you like Thunderstorms:	they're alright
Shower Daily:	yep
Do you Sing:	yes
Want to go to College:	I'm there, so I guess...yes?
Current...
Clothes:	lounge pants and bid night shirt
Shoes:	flip flops (are there any other kinds?)
Make-Up:	none
Hair Do:	ponytail
Phone:	samsung
Phone Number:	clever
Location:	didn't we do this already?
Weather:	dark
Website(s):	Facebook, Myspace, Livejournal
Take this survey \| Find more surveys Bzoink - The Original Survey Site

Here we go again

2007-08-07T02:17:22Z

I hate feeling this way. I hate the fact that I feel this way a lot more than I should. I hate that I'm supposed to be doing better but I just seem to be falling back into old habits. And I hate that I desperately want to be a witness, but it doesn't work if I'm depressed all the time.
Oh yeah, I am depressed. Not necessarily because of any situations, although some things probably don't help. I'm not even really in a depressed mood much. I'm pretty convinced that it is something to do with my brain or my hormones or whatever. I read this book about natural cures for depression as opposed to medication, and there were several symptoms of depression that I definitely have: 1.)Appetite and weight reduction or increase--in my case reduction
2.)Psychomotor retardation or agitation--don't think that applies
3.)Energy reduction (fatigue)--definitely
4.)Sleep reduction or increase--increase for me
5.)Suicidal thoughts or thoughts of death--thankfully no
6.)Worthlessness or feelings of excessive/inappropriate guilt--biggest problem
7.)Interest or pleasure-marked diminution in most activities--yep
8.)Mental ability diminution (difficulty thinking, concentrating, or deciding
Number 6 and 8 are huge ones for me. It would explain why I've felt so stupid lately. And I definitely have problems with inappropriate guilt. I always feel like everything is my fault. I walk on eggshells trying not to upset anyone, and because of that, I have a problem not telling people when I have a problem, which tends to make the situation even worse. I'm thinking this has all got to do with my body not producing enough serotonin or melotanin or prostaglandins or whatever. I really don't want to take medicine, but there are a lot of other ways to take care of it. Stuff I should really have been doing in the first place, but whatever. I'm sick of being "depressed" and I'm sick of people being sick of me being depressed, because I know I'm no fun sometimes. I know that my constant crying and getting upset hurts my relationships and exasperates other people. I wish I didn't get upset so easily but that's the way I am. I didn't used to be nearly this emotional, then I asked God for some sensitivity and I got way more than I expected. Now I cry at everything. I cried watching the finale of Flavor of Love Girls Charm School. I cry whenever that humane society commercial with the Sarah McLaughlin song comes on. I'm an emotional wreck. But I can't help it. So I guess I'll have to get over it.

Yay, a real computer!

2007-08-03T05:44:26Z

So we finally got the internet to work on my laptop. Yay now it doesn't take a thousand hours to check my email.
My friend Lauren's birthday was Tuesday. Her birthday is the same as J.K. Rowling's and Harry Potter's. :) I went bowling with her and her family and our friend Brittany. It was very fun. I actually won one of the games. I got a 111. I was excited. After we went bowling we went to Applebee's. It was the first time I had ever driven with passengers. I consider that a big step for me. Then I ate a lot of nachos. After that I spent the night at Brittany's and we watched The Devil Wears Prada. It was pretty good but it made me feel incredibly homely. :(
So I need to quit freaking out about driving. I've made a lot of progress, and it doesn't actually bother my mind anymore. But my body seems to still think that I'm terrified of it, because everytime I plan on driving anywhere my body starts to freak out. I get really jittery and kind of nauseous. It's not fun. But I'm not thinking "oh my God, I can't drive, I'm gonna die" or anything like that. It's very frustrating. But it's okay to feel this way and I can get over it.
I think I'm going to the pool tomorrow. It's supposed to be really hot.

This is going to be a severely long post...

2007-07-29T03:32:20Z

There are several reasons why I haven't bothered posting in a while. I haven't felt like it, or my computer has been really slow, or I've been way too busy with other things. Now I have so much to talk about I will probably not give some things the details they deserve. But I will do my best. I'd link some stuff, but my computer would probably mess it up in some way. So deal with the long post.
Camp was amazing. The best camp so far. Before this year, camp was always just a good experience. But this year I actually had some breakthroughs. None of the people I usually hang out with at camp were there, but it allowed me to get closer to people I probably wouldn't have gotten closer to. I also got prayed for by Pastor Brian, and for those that know him, that is a big deal. It's kind of like a milestone. First car, first job, Graduation, first time Pastor Brian prays for you. I'm joking, but it was still pretty cool. I got healed from some stuff at camp. I had been pretty much dead for the past several months. I feel alive again. And I'm a lot less closed off. I've had problems not being honest with people when things bother me in the past because I'm close to so few people that I'm kind of afraid of conflict. Although it's harder in some situations to break that habit than in others, I think I'm doing a lot better.
So, I wanted to come home from camp all happy and filled with the joy of the Lord and really ready to approach life in a new light. But the moment I left the campgrounds, it was like the attack began with renewed vigor. For one thing, I got sick on the way home, and I stayed sick for the next couple of weeks. There was a legitimate and extremely awkward reason for it, and I won't discuss it here. But it's all cleared up now, thank God. It did not clear up in time for the best movie ever to come out, but I went and saw it at midnight anyway because I'm that hardcore. I'm glad I went to. It was kind of like a high school reunion. I was very happy to see some people. Order of the Pheonix was pretty much amazing, and it wasn't just because I was pretty much high on Tylenol w/ Codine. I think it was the best one so far. Harry was so emo. Luna was darling. Umbridge was incredibly frightening. Bellatrix was deliciously wicked. Neville is my hero. Now and forever. The music was very good. Tonks was amazing, although she wasn't in it nearly enough. And the scene with Snape's memory was way too short, but Snape's amazing anyway. The duel between Voldemort and Dumbledore was B.A., as I knew it would be. The scene where the twins leave was also B.A. Harry was incredibly skilled for his first kiss. And it's awkward seeing it again after reading the last book because then you're like, wow, everyone's dead. Oh well. The movie was amazing. Deathly Hallows was amazing as well. I cried several times. I'm extremely sad that it's over. Sad to say, but I pretty much care about the characters in those books more than like, half the people I know in real life. That's probably not a good thing. :(
My little issue was only one thing that has been weighing me down the last month. Coming home from camp was like coming back to hell. All this crap was coming at me from all these different directions. I've been really stressed with my dad moving. He was going to sell the condo, and I had to worry about packing up all my stuff and finding somewhere to store it. And I got my housing assignment from Butler placing me with two freshman girls in a room that is not supposed to accomodate three people. But that's been taken care of now. Dad's not going to sell the condo, and I'm going to go ahead and commute. Lauren might still be able to room with me, but if she can't, it's not a big deal. I've been in this house by myself so long that I'm used to it. But it would be really nice to have a friend and an accountability partner here.
I'm still nervous about driving. I get really nervous thinking about it. I have major anticipatory anxiety issues. It's stupid and doesn't make sense. But it's kind of a problem. For example, I have a situation with a friend right now, and she probably thinks I'm avoiding her, but really I don't want to have the conversation over the phone, and I don't want her to have to drive all the way over here because it takes up so much gas, but I don't want to drive over to her house and talk to her because I don't want to drive. And it's interfering with going to church. I've only been driving pretty much when I absolutely have to. It's such a lame excuse. It's starting to get a little better, but it's still a problem. I just wish I lived closer to everything.
I have major issues. Yeah, I got delivered from a couple of things at camp. But there is still so much crap wrong with me. I still feel like I'm useless, like I have no purpose. I don't know what to do with my life. I know that I don't belong in Business, but I don't know where I do belong. I also feel so awkward and stupid sometimes. I'm really ditzy, and half the time I don't know what anyone's talking about. I know it's crap, but the negative thoughts creep in anyway. I'm sick of feeling like an ignorant, naive, vulnerable, ditzy, helpless little girl who can't grow up and needs to be taken care of and is never taken seriously and only knows stuff she learned from watching VH1. I was in AP classes for God's sake. I got into Butler without lifting a finger. Out of all the AP tests I took, I only got less than a 4 on one of them. On my SAT, I got a 700 on the reading comprehension part. So it's not like I'm stupid. So I don't understand why I feel so stupid all the time. It also doesn't help that my boyfriend is a freaking genius and makes the top 5 people in my class look stupid. But that's what I love about him. :) No, it's all me and stuff that's messed up in my mind. And I'm not really motivated. And it's summer. I think everything's going to be okay. Really, I'm okay. I'm not wanting to kill myself every 10 minutes. ;) I think I just really really need to start focusing more. And I need something to focus on.

And what's with all the carrots?

2007-06-24T05:02:58Z

Before I go into the usual meloncholy rambling, I should recap the last couple of weeks, because they were actually pretty good. I spent a couple of days with my older brother, Rick. I wish I could just live with him. He's the only adult in my family that I can stand for long periods of time. And I love Victoria. She's the best baby ever. We went over to Rick's dad's house. Not only was Ken there, but so were Rick's other brother and sister. And Ken's girlfriend. It wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be. They were very nice to me. The girlfriend actually offered to let me stay the night and take me home the next morning. And it was fun listening to Rick and Ken make jokes at my mom's expense.
Jacen picked me up from Rick's and we spent the whole day together. That was really nice, since I feel like we never get to spend real quality time together.
This week I finally got a car. It's a black 2006 Nissan Sentra. It's very nice. I feel bad because it seems like I'm not excited to have a car, and I am, but I just still get kind of nervous about driving. Driving the car home from the dealership was the first time I had ever driven by myself. On Wednesday I had to take it back to get the paint fixed. I got lost on the way to my grandparents and had to turn around in Carmel. I now know why my friends hate Carmel drivers so much. I made a wrong turn on the way to church. I fixed it, and got to church on time. Too bad service had been canceled that night due to a revival on Thursday and Friday and I didn't know about it. On the way home I accidentally got onto 69 when I should have stayed on 465. I got to Noblesville before I could turn around. I was pretty freaked out. But I made it back home. On Thursday I made Jacen drive us to his mom's house. That was lots of fun. Apparently I'm now his 4 year old nephew's girlfriend. I guess that makes me feel kind of special.
I leave for camp on Monday. So far I can't find a ride and may have to drive myself. It's in Michigan. My friend offered to ride with me, but I still feel really nervous. Plus I checked the weather and it's supposed to storm from here to Bridgman pretty much all day. Fun stuff. I'm hoping I can find a ride tomorrow. I know I could do it. I mean, I'm going to church camp. God will take care of me on the way there. But this whole weekend I have felt physically, mentally and emotionally ill. Driving isn't all of it, but it certainly doesn't help. I feel like I'm under attack. I'm at a point right now where I don't really even want to go to camp. It's normal to feel like this before a big God-related event. A lot of my friends had spiritual battles to overcome before our mission trip to Mexico. It's just that, being as spiritually immature as I am, I never went through this to this extent. It's draining. I'm hoping it means that God has something major for me this week. He has to, if Satan is trying so hard to keep me distracted.
I'll change the subject now, since I'm probably freaking all of my nonbeliever friends out with my Christianese. A man from Nigeria friended me on Facebook the other day. He majored in tiger racing and he likes to play the elephant skin drum. It's probably a joke, but if it were for real that would be amazing. I'm going to go now because I need to finish packing, and I've got to be up in like, 7 hours. Hopefully the next post will be very uplifting.

Yay

2007-05-27T16:39:29Z

Today is May 27th. That means it has been one year to the day that I have been a graduate from high school. It also means that Jacen and I have been dating for a year and a half. Excitement.
So...this weekend was actually pretty fun. I stayed over at my brother Rick's house. I love Victoria. She is my favorite person in the world right now. She makes me want babies. Not right now, but in the future. Like less than ten years.
Rick's dog is scary. It's all googly-eyed and it's jowls are all bleeding and nasty. He's like a hell dog from a horror movie or something. Which is sad because he's a big baby. He thinks he's a lap dog (he's definitely a rotweiller-is that spelled right?), and I would let him sit on me if I wasn't scared I would get a disease. Oh well.
So today I am going to try to see that pirate movie. I'm not in a very excited mood today. At least it's not raining anymore. Yet.

I hope you don't mind

2007-05-18T18:42:40Z

Moulin Rouge is a really bizarre movie. But I love it. Every time I see it I think of Kimmy and happier times. And I love Ewan McGregor's voice. It makes me want to run in a field of flowers and eat candy or something.

Yes

2007-04-25T06:57:46Z

This is amazing.

That was good, but this is what really made my day.

It's practically orgasmic. And am I the only person who finds Voldemort super attractive in that suit?...

Wow

2007-04-24T04:51:38Z

I feel like a huge ass right now. Ha ha, life is funny. :)